The Collector
by Ramenism
Summary: As the three men and one boy stared at the couple on the table, each questioned Leader. All the leader said was If I can't see it, its not there. KakuzuXSakura Rated for Hidan's mouth and the Kitchen table...:D


The Collector

It was eleven pm now.

Hidan sat on his bed, trying to ignore the weeping girl in the corner of the room.

He really hadn't meant to embarrass her; he just had no filter on his mouth.

What he thought he was what he said, none of his thoughts were secrets.

Hidan peeked an eye open.

She was in the same position she had been an hour before, still sniffing softly.

Hidan sighed, troubled.

Sakura had been his first friend person for a long time, and though he normally didn't care about people's feelings, he did notice the ping of guilt he felt.

He thought about earlier.

……._Earlier_ ……

Kakuzu was sitting at his desk, accounting the finances of the Akatsuki.

Hidan was polishing his weapon when he noticed Sakura staring at Kakuzu.

She had been staring at him a lot lately.

And blushing too.

"Sakura, why are you staring at fuck face over there?"

Sakura blushed.

"Why do you always stare at him? And why do you always blush around him?"

Kakuzu shifted his seat more towards them, so he could see then out of the corner of his eye.

Sakura sat on Kakuzu's bed, a horrified look on her face.

"Er…I uh…"

Hidan continued to polish his weapon, not aware of the turmoil he was causing the female.

Sakura began to sweat. Why did Hidan have to be so blunt about everything?

She normally stared at him because she could, but today he wasn't wearing his cloak, or any of his head gear.

It was just him and his stitched self.

She really did adore those stitches.

Sakura blushed once more.

"See? Sakura, you're blushing again."

Sakura glared at Hidan, trying to send bad vibes toward his direction.

"Do you have a crush on Kakuzu?"

Hidan was genuinely curious about this.

Sakura stammered badly, "Er, no, I er…shit."

Hidan raised and eyebrow. So the girl actually knew what a cussword was.

You'd think by the way she scolded him when he cussed excessively (Whatever. A sentence always had room for a couple of four letter words) that she had never heard a cussword in her life.

"So…does that mean you like him?"

"No!" Sakura blurted out, a little to fast.

Kakuzu shifted himself back to his work.

Hidan furrowed his eyebrows together, it sure seemed like she did like him though.

Hidan spoke, mostly to himself, "Hm…you know, I don't believe that. The other night I heard you mumbling about how is eyes were so bright. And you were blushing. You're always fucking blushing."

Hidan added thoughtfully,

"And that night Kakuzu was on sedatives, I remember you touching his stitches…"

Sakura watched as Kakuzu visibly tensed.

"I thought you were asleep!" Sakura snapped.

"…my eyes were open!"

"You sleep with your eyes open too."

Hidan shrugged. "Not my problem, chicky."

Kakuzu stood up silently, shaking, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door.

Hidan glanced at the door thoughtfully; Kakuzu hated being touched unless violence was involved.

He remembered when he tried to tickle Kakuzu and the fucker ripped his head off.

Hidan was about to unleash a beautiful line of words when he heard a noise.

A weird noise he hadn't heard for a long time.

He turned to Kakuzu's bed, not seeing Sakura. He looked at the corner and saw her in a ball, crying.

He frowned.

…._Present…_

And that's how he found himself in this predicament.

A pissed off partner and a crying female.

Bah, Jashin-sama, I really would wish you'd kill me now. Life is getting too complicated.

Hidan was about to pray when the door slammed open.

Kakuzu glanced at Hidan, who waved him off.

He then turned to Sakura, her eyes wide.

In one swift movement, he swooped down, lifted her up, and carried her out of the room, bridal style.

As he walked by him, Hidan snorted.

"Bout time you came back, dumb fuck."

……

Sakura stared at Kakuzu, still in shock.

"…Kakuzu, you know your eyes glow in the dark…"

He merely grunted in response.

Kakuzu turned a corner and entered the Kitchen. He gently placed Sakura on the bar stool.

Kakuzu looked at Sakura's swollen, red eyes and began to rummage around the kitchen.

Sakura watched as he pulled out two bowls, two spoons, and a gallon of strawberry ice-cream.

He scooped out about a third of the gallon into her bowl, and the rest of it into his.

He sat down a bowl in front of her and sat next to her.

"…when I was a kid, whenever I was feeling down, my mother would make me ice cream."

Sakura mumbled thanks.

Blushing.

Sakura wanted to punch herself. Hidan was right; she had been blushing way too much.

Sakura stared at Kakuzu, whose eyes did in fact glow in the dark.

"…Sakura, why were you touching my stitches?"

Sakura poked her ice-cream with her spoon.

"Er, well, I like them."

"…you like my stitches?"

"…yeah."

"…why would you?"

Sakura turned to him, her eyes shining fiercely, "Why not?"

Kakuzu was taken aback. Sakura's mood swings were unpredictable.

Sakura poked him in the chest.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with them. In fact, I like the stitches around your mouth the best and in fact…in fact…"

Inner Sakura was tired of Sakura beating around the bush.

"I think they make you fucking hot!"

Sakura squeaked and covered her mouth.

….

Hidan stopped polishing.

His cussing senses were tingling.

….

Kakuzu blinked.

He hadn't heard anything remotely like that since he was a teenager.

And it was normally a 'You're cute', not what Sakura said.

And all those other girls were really shy about it.

Sakura was almost violent.

Sakura scratched her head sheepishly, blushing.

"I er…well."

"Do you really think that?"

Sakura was surprised at the intensity of his eyes.

"Yes."

Kakuzu grasped her shoulders and roughly smashed his lips over hers.

Sakura moaned and leaned into the kiss, running her hands along his stitches.

"…ahem."

Kakuzu and Sakura separated, looking at the doorway.

Sakura gasped. It was the Leader.

And he was only in his boxers.

Leader closed his eyes and grabbed a liter of Coke from the fridge and some Captain Crunch from the counter.

He sat down and shook some cereal out of the box.

As he poured the coke into the bowl he stated dryly. "It's nearly midnight."

"Yes." Kakuzu responded.

Sakura wondered why he was eating Captain Crunch with Coke.

"I don't mind if you two suck face. Carry on."

He closed his eyes and took a bite.

Kakuzu shrugged and pushed Sakura onto the table, claiming her lips once more.

Ten minutes later Itachi walked in, hungry.

He stopped and watched the two on the table.

Itachi sighed and rummaged through fridge and pulled out a whole Oreo pie.

As he sat down to the left of Leader, he asked, "Leader, why are you letting them," Itachi glanced at the busy people on the table, "do whatever you'd call that on the table?"

"Why not? Plus, if I can't see it, it's not there."

Itachi thought for a moment and then shrugged.

Itachi also closed his eyes after Sakura released a rather, _heart felt_ moan.

Leader had poured himself three more bowls and Itachi was half way done with his pie when Deidara and Tobi walked in arguing with each other.

They sat down, Deidara stealing a bite from leader and Itachi gave Tobi a piece of his pie.

They didn't notice Sakura and Kakuzu until Sakura moaned, "Oh, Kakuzu…do that again…"

Tobi stared in complete shock.

Deidara slapped a hand on Tobi's face, making sure the boy couldn't see.

"What are they doing?" Deidara hissed at Leader.

Leader simply said, "What's it looked like."

Deidara looked at the two and his eyes widened.

"Where did Kakuzu learn to do that?"

Deidara was staring at the male and female when Zetsu walked in.

And then he promptly walked out mumbling to himself.

"_Last time I saw something like that was when…"_

"**Don't even start. I've been trying to erase that memory since that day."**

The four unoccupied males at the table paled.

Just as they were about to disrupt the couple on the table, (What they were doing now was not meant for public viewing), Hidan walked in, butt naked.

Silence.

Hidan looked down at himself and laughed.

'…ah…I knew I forgot something when I walked out of the shower."

Hidan looked back up and blushed slightly when he noticed Sakura dn .

"Don't ask me what they are doing…I'm sure you can see for yourself."

Hidan growled and pointed a finger at the leader.

"That is so not fair! Why don't you let any other fucking females join the group?"

Hidan grumbled and took a seat, stealing the last slice of Itachi's pie.

The End.

…Oh my gosh. It started out fine and then it morphed into this weird…thing. cries

This is a gift fic for Crimson.Kaze because she's awesome like that.

If you read this, and think WTF?, don't feel alone.

I thought that the whole time I was writing this.

I own none of the pronouns.

Pishaw…tell me how you like it...lol, I'm a moron…

Lotsa Love

The Queen of Ramen

Ramenism


End file.
